love is not enough
to hold two souls together
and your god and mine
are too different to coexist
or reconcile...
tears squeeze my lungs with tight fists
the mascara flaking in the morning with dried salt
i do not lift my cheek to your morning kiss
or look at you when you smile and say you love me
the hot water cascades over me in the shower
washing away forgotten nightmares and leftover sleep
warming me in the absence of his touch
and calming me as i choke down the pain of his departure
the sun today is a reminder that there are other ways to be okay
but i do not want any other ways
every way leads to loss, every belief like hands
that strangle and bruise my throat with my indecision
love is not enough
but it is the reason that we try
love does not fix
but it is the cause of it all
love is the pain we feel when we're happy
the knife we hug to our chest as we cry out our joy
we are fundamentally flawed
i still try to make the pieces fit,
together like an abstract jigsaw
the curved edge into the square hole,
we are all such painfully happy broken selves
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